The things you don't know
by KathrynValmont
Summary: Complete I make fun of the charectars on star wars and the people who play them
1. Default Chapter

Anakin: You love me? You should have told me this sooner or I never would have asked Sabe to marry me? What the hell am I going to do now?

Scene 2:

It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He told me to get married to you! Look what happened! This is your entire fault! I became Lord Vader!

Anakin and Padme:  
Scene1:

Anakin: Well, you know it wouldn't have to be that way... We could keep it a secret...

Padme: You want to keep it a secret? What kind of a person are you? You want to keep our relationship a secret. (She bursts into tears) Now look! My make-up is ruined! My life is over because my mascara is smudged! Thanks a lot Anakin!

Scene2:

Anakin: You love me? I never loved you! I just wanted to marry you for your money! Wait what did I just say?

Padme: I don't care. I truly deeply love you!

Anakin: Huh?

Padme: Anakin I love you!

Anakin: Woah, I was more down with living the lies!

Padme: That's what we're doing!

Anakin: No, we wouldn't be living a lie!

Padme: Yes we would!

Anakin: No! We wouldn't be living a lie! It would destroy our lives!

Scene 2:

Anakin: Don't be afraid.

Padme: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit since the day we met!

Anakin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Padme: Never mind!

Anakin: Great! After everything I've done for you, you're still convinced I'm the one trying to kill you!

Padme: That's not what I am saying!

Anakin: Then what are you saying?

Padme: I love you!

Scene 3:

Padme: Follow my lead!

Anakin: No! I still haven't given up arguing with you! I'll argue with you as I cross over to the dark side. I promise you that!

Padme: I don't have time for this. We have to go save Obi- Wan! What on earth are you talking about?

Anakin: I had this really cool and sad dream last night! Anyways, in the future we're going to get married!

Padme: Really? That is so exciting.

Anakin: No, it isn't!

Padme: It isn't?

Anakin: We have twins and I become like this evil bad guy!

Padme: Let's go get married now!

Anakin: What about Obi-Wan?

Padme: The jedi will reach him in time!

Anakin: I knew you were gonna say that!

Scene4:

Anakin: We decided to come and rescue you!

Padme: No, it was my idea!

Anakin: Well, we never would have gotten out of our hot make- out session if it weren't for me!

Padme: What are you talking about? You're the one who wanted to jump me!

Anakin: Can you blame me? I mean look at the outfit you wore on the first day in Naboo!

Padme: (starts to cry) Is that all you see me as!

Anakin: Ofcourse not baby!

Anakin and Obi-Wan non-slash:

Obi-Wan: You are going to be the death of me!

Anakin: Can I get it over with and kill you now?

Obi-Wan: You're really willing to do that for me?

Anakin: What did you do to your hair?

Obi-Wan: Now, Anakin! You really need to lighten up!

Anakin: I just thought you would get a different hairstyle!

Obi-Wan: You don't like my head shaved?


	2. behind the scenes

Messing up their lines

Natalie: You're making fun of me.

Hayden: I could show you some real fun.

(He raises his eyebrows suggestively)

George: We've done this scene ten times today. Let's try to get it right.

Natalie: Alright.

Guy: Action!

Hayden: Don't be afraid.

Natalie: I love you.

Hayden: You love me?

George: Cut!

Natalie: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Guy: Action!

Natalie: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dieing a little bit each day since you came back into my life.

Hayden: What do you mean?

Natalie: I love you.

Hayden: You love me?

(He kisses her.)

George: Cut! You kiss her after, 'I truly, deeply love you. I just wanted you to know that before we die.'

Hayden: Now you too? Wait- you're dieing?

George: (exasperated, can you blame him?) No! That's the line!

Hayden: Oh yeah.

Natalie: (eagerly) Let's do this scene again.

Natalie: You're making fun of me!

(Hayden gives her a hot stare.)

Natalie: Damn it! Stop looking at my chest!

Hayden: Focus, focus.

Natalie: Don't look at me like that.

Hayden: I can't help it.

George: Good God!

George: If you guys don't get this scene right I am taking you both out of the movie.

Natalie: You can't do that to me. I played Padme in the other movie.

(George looks at her frusterated.)

George: I can replace him though.

Natalie: But he's a better kisser than Leo. Ryan was good.

Hayden: Are you suggesting he could take my place?

Natalie: Ofcourse not. You're special to me.

George: (muttering) That's the problem. Bring Ryan in!

Hayden: You can't make him Anakin because we've already done photo shoots for the movie and the movie poster too.

George: (Sees Hayden's point) Fine!

Natalie: So he's staying. Let's work on the arena scene first today.

George: (muttering) I am getting too old for this.


	3. Daddy Vader knows best!

Darth: I am your father!  
  
Luke: That's not true! That's impossible! My father was better looking than you were. (He runs his hands through his hair) Look, I know I'm sweating right now, but really, I'm such a babe!  
  
Darth: I was better looking than you were when I was your age!  
  
Luke: No- wait, did you make the girls swoon?  
  
Darth: Oh, you bet I did! I was irresistible!  
  
Luke: Really? I had no idea! Obi-wan never told me!  
  
Darth: That's because he was jealous, over-  
  
Luke: critical-  
  
Darth: annoying!  
  
(Darth helps him from his near death. They walk off good arm in good arm discussing Obi-Wan.)  
  
*********  
  
Obi-Wan: You have a sister.  
  
Luke: Wait! I have a sister? Is it that cute babe I hooked up with last week?!  
  
Obi-Wan: No! It's Leia!  
  
Luke: Ew! I just asked her to marry me! What am I supposed to do? I spent all my money on our wedding!  
  
Obi: I knew you were just like your father!  
  
Luke: He married his sister as well?  
  
Obi: He might as well have!  
  
Luke: Oh great so my mother was my aunt?  
  
*******  
  
Padme: Ani is that you?  
  
Anakin: Ofcourse it's me. (He gives her a sexy look)  
  
Padme: My goodness, you've grown.  
  
Anakin: So have you, grown more sexier.  
  
Padme: I could jump you right now.  
  
********  
  
Hayden: I thought we agreed not to fall in love, that we'd be force to live a lie, and it would destroy our lives.  
  
Natalie: Hayden, not being with you is destroying me.  
  
George: Cut!  
  
Natalie: I truly, deeply, love you.  
  
George: Cut!  
  
Natalie: I just can't hide it any longer.  
  
(They begin to really make out.)  
  
George: (muttering) where is the stand INS when I need a piece of whatever sanity of mine is left!  
  
*********  
  
Anakin: Is this what you call a diplomatic solution?  
  
Padme: This is what I call French- kissing negotiations.  
  
(She breaks their kiss for air)  
  
*******  
  
Padme: Don't look at me like that.  
  
Anakin: Why not?  
  
Padme: It makes me feel uncomfortable.  
  
Anakin: But I can't help it! I've been in love with you since I was nine.  
  
Padme: (annoyed) Believe me, I know!  
  
Anakin: Was it that obvious?  
  
Padme: The whole angel line was a complete give!  
  
Anakin: Yeah, I was only nine. I had horrible flirting skills. But now-  
  
***  
  
Vader: I am your father.  
  
Luke: Oh my God! This is like so cool! I've always felt so close to you! Can I give you a hug?  
  
Vader: I still have to kill you though cause you don't seem interested in the dark side.  
  
Luke: Can you blame me? I mean didn't girls like you better without a mask?  
  
Vader: You have a point. But girls like the whole badass thing.  
  
Luke: I've never tried that before.  
  
Vader: You know Han and Leia, yeah, that's why. Plus your sister is such a bitch!  
  
Luke: She's my sister? She's too hot to be my sister!  
  
Vader: That's it! I'm cutting your hand off!  
  
Luke: You can't do that to me!  
  
******  
  
Luke: I will never turn to the darkside. You failed your highness. I want to travel around and meet hot girls like my father before  
  
Me.  
  
*****  
  
Luke: I know there is good in you. You used to be too good looking to be bad.  
  
*********** 


End file.
